Sunday, February 18, 2018

I'm Pregnant!

Can you believe it?! 
As I'm writing this I'm 16w4d, and I'm beyond grateful.
It's been an emotional rollercoaster, thats for sure. 
I have been full of anxiety and so much nervousness, but I am so glad this is happening for us. 

I will say this. This will be my last pregnancy. That's why I am praying everything continues to go smoothly and we make it to the end. There is no way I willing to put myself or my family threw anymore emotional stress. 

Its been hard to stay positive and keep negative thoughts from crossing my mind, but I just can't help it. It's a daily struggle, but I am trying my best.
Im sure this is common with women how have suffered losses. What did you guys do to help keep the negativity away? Any tips on how to enjoy this pregnancy and not feel bad?
Let me know guys. I could really use some advise. 

Also, we already know the gender!
Any guesses?

XOXO, Yuri 


Sunday, October 8, 2017

Another Miscarriage

These kinds of things are never easy to talk about. I know that for my own healing and for my well-being, I need to. 
I suffered another miscarriage.


I had been debating if we should share our baby news a little early, since we had already told a couple people. My husband was super excited and just couldn't wait to share the news. So I decided that, I would wait until my next appointment, to make sure everything was still going great.

August 26th, I went in for what I thought would be my second (10w5d) prenatal appointment.
She looked for a heart beat with the doppler, nothing. She said maybe the baby was still a little too small to hear. So she went out and brought in her ultra sound machine. She lubed me up, and started looking. I saw nothing on the screen, not even a baby. I was already starting to get nervous. She went ahead and called the ultrasound tech, and she took me over to her room. I was so scared. I already knew. She looked for the baby and there it was. I saw no heartbeat, she was quite. And then, thats when I saw her shake her head. 9-1 she said. My baby was measuring 9 weeks and a day. "Im sorry, hunny"
My eyes filled with tears. I just wanted to leave, run out of the office and just go home.
She told me my options, I could either, let the baby come on its own, have a D&C or I could take Cytotec.
I went with Cytotec, and I took it that same day. I was already hurting so much.
I passed the baby that same night. I didn't think I would see it. I thought that maybe it would be too small to see, or that I would miss it somehow. But I didn't miss it, I saw it come out. I cried hard. It was over. I no longer had a baby growing inside me.
I was so angry, so disappointed in myself, in my body. I already have 3 kids, why was this happening to me? Could it have been the Subchorionic hemorrhage I was told about at my first 
prenatal appointment?

I still don't have answers, maybe something is going on with my body or maybe something is going on my with husband. I do plan on making sure we're both good.  We desperately want to have one more baby, and I do want to try again, I just don't know if I can keep dealing with this heartbreak.

I posted this picture on my Instagram last week. I go so many strangers sending me comments, and DMs telling me about their struggles, and experiences. It defiantly helps to know I am not alone, and that my feels are valid. I know I will get over this, and there will be brighter days.
To all the rainbow mamas out there. I am with you. I am here for you. You are strong.

Thursday, March 23, 2017


I really don't know how to start this post, and really I debated even writing one. But as time goes by I keep thinking about writing a post. I keep thinking about what happened. And I guess I just can't let it go. I had a miscarriage on January 17th, 2017. I had only known about the pregnancy for 2 days, and I was already 6 weeks along.
Before all this happened, I had been having SUPER irregular periods. Cycles lasting anywhere from 25 days to 45 days, they were nuts and so unpredictable. I had wanted to get pregnant again soon after having Emilio, but that's when we decided to renew our vows. We had put getting pregnant on hold, but as the wedding date drew closer, we kinda just let nature do it's thing. I didn't even really know when I could get pregnant since my periods where off the wall, so it was really by chance that we conceived at the end.
We were so excited, so incredibly happy. At one point we even considered telling
 everyone we were expecting at our wedding reception. We were low key making plans for this tiny baby already. I found out I was pregnant on a Sunday and on Tuesday morning that came to an end. It wasn't anything dramatic. I woke up as I usually do to get the kids ready for school, and I suddenly felt like a tiny gush of something, obviously I was instantly alarmed, just because I'm super paranoid by nature. I go to the restroom and I see blood. My heart sank and I just started to cry. I knew I had miscarried, there was no doubt in my mind. Art stayed optimistic, reminding me it could be implantation bleeding, but I already knew. The blood was dark, and it was not spotting by any means.  I called my OB office, they had me come in that day for a blood draw, the next day they called and told me my HCG levels and told me to come back the following day for a second draw. I already knew tho, there was no way I was still pregnant, the bleeding never stopped. I still went in for the second draw, and the following day they confirmed my levels had dropped. It was official, I was no longer pregnant.
I still don't know if I'm under reacting or over reacting. I had never gone threw something like this. I know I miscarried early and honestly with the jacked up periods I was having, if I would have waited 2 more days to test, I probably never would have known. But it still hurts, it makes me sad and I defiantly cried about it. I cried about what it could have been. This baby would have had Emilio's exact same birthday. The memories we would have had. It would have been so amazing.
I didn't want to talk about it, because some people go threw miscarriages when they are 3,4 ,5 months along if not more. Mine was so early, and it hurt so bad, I can't imagine the pain of losing a baby who  was that far along,  a baby that I have heard the heart of, a baby that I have felt kick, a baby of which I know the gender and gave a name to. I guess, I was worried about upsetting someone who may have suffered a greater loss then me. 
Only a few close family members know about our miscarriage, but I think its time for me to let it out into the universe. Let me really heal. 

Friday, January 6, 2017

Our Engagement shoot

I am so excited to share our engagement photos with you all. I absolutely love how they came out! I mean, of course they came out gorgeous! Our photos where done by our cousin -in- law Perla. This chica is AH-MAZING!
We usually go with a very earthy, desert landscape; but this time we wanted to try something new. Well, Art wanted to try something new is what I should say. He had the idea of us shooting in Downtown Phoenix. As much as I loved the idea, I wasn't sold on it. I like consistency, and if something works why change it. (amiright ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )  Well, we went with his idea and hoped for the best. 
I literally just sit and look at them all the time, I just cant get enough! 
Ok, well I hope y'all enjoy them as much as I do <3

Thank you so much for the photos Perla, your the best!

Wednesday, January 4, 2017


Ive managed to go threw my whole wedding planning experiance without blogging about it. 
All I can say is that it went by fast, we really under estimated EVERYTHING. We are officially 30 days out, and we still have so much to do. Like all those little details really add up. Its crazy!
Kinda sucks that Im entering 2017, feeling exactly like 2016.  SUPER STRESSED. 
As excited as I am to be going threw this journey, I really just want it to end already. Im seriously so over it.  Im ready to get rid of the stress, this anxiety and most importantly, Im ready to not be broke. 

Keeping this downer post short for y'all.
But I will end it with a photo from our engagement shoot.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Wedding Season is upon us

Alright guys, so it is true! 
Wedding season is upon us. This is particularly exciting for me because my husband and I have decided to get remarried!!!! We have been civially married for whats going to be 4 years, this year. 
I honestly can even believe this is happening. But, it is most definatly happening, and its happening fast. 
We have a date!! February 4th, 2017.  

I feel like there are a million things that I should be doing. I originally had a rather small wedding in mind. I wasn't expecting to have a bridal party, a professional photographer or a florist. Now its looking like Ill be having all three. 
Everything is adding up fast, and to be honest, I don't know how were going to be able to afford all this. Its gonna take a lot of budgeting and a lot of planning to pull this off. 

Well, wish us luck! 
and with that, I leave y'all with a couple of photos from our wedding in 2012
xoxo, yuri

Friday, April 1, 2016

Worst blogger in the history of blogging

Well, here I am again, attempting to blog. I don't know that it is about it, but blogging is hard!
I tried blogging while I was pregnant and after I had the baby. Now, here I am, almost 7 months later attempting to blog yet again. 
Lets se how this works out. 

If you don't already follow me and know who I am, My name is Yuri. I am a twenty something year old mother of 3 boys. Yup, all boys. 
I am happily married, to my best friend and we live in sunny Arizona. 
I hope you stick around to see where this blogging adventure takes us. 
xoxo, Yuri